Mon. Jun 21st, 2021

the Torch

The student voice of Wichita High School South

Top 10 Worst Products for Lazy People

9 min read
Number 10: Electric Spin the Bottle!
Number 10: Electric Spin the Bottle!

Ever have a bunch of friends over for a party and someone yells “Spin the Bottle!”, and pulls out this thing? Probably not, but this is surely the future of group entertainment!… but in reality, you and your friend will be sitting, silent, and awkward around an overly loud, obnoxious, automated plastic bottle.

Number 9: The twirlie spaghetti fork!
Number 9: The twirlie spaghetti fork!

This amazing product is equally useful on spaghetti and pasta! This is another whirring device on the same level as the electric bottle spinner. Although very important because We all know how risky it is to spin a fork yourself. You might cramp your hand or your arm just might not be able to handle the burden of a fork. But all this fork needs is a battery and its good to go! Over 100,000 of these forks sold every year! To the same lazy kids that would buy the electric bottle spinner.

Number 8: The Sock Buddy!
Number 8: The Sock Buddy!

How many hours have you spent fumbling around with your socks? Trying to get them on your feet while simultaneously trying to disarm a bomb, answer a phone call, and answer the door… blindfolded? The sock buddy removes all the complicated twist manuevers or oil related shortcuts. Just fold your sock onto the top of the wire frame and pull upwards and your good to go!The time you save using the sock buddy, you’ll be able to open a drawer 3/5ths of the way, take one bite out of a candy bar, and wash most of a dish.

Number 7: The "abHancer"!
Number 7: The “abHancer”!

Want a six pack but way too lazy to work for one? This contraption is the key to a six pack within seconds! The ultimate alternative to traditional excercise! By instead, strapping this frame around your bulging gut, and hoping that it wont slice through your tummy like a knife in roast turkey.

Number 6: The Self Scooping Litter Box
Number 6: The Self Scooping Litter Box

So you bought yourself a Cat. Now all you need to do is feed it and clean up the litter box. Two fairly straight forward obligations that you should come to expect owning a live animal. But some people, are so lazy, so fed up with the litter box smell coming from a room that they probably barely use anyway. That they need a robot to clean the litter box for them. Even though all it does is separate the feces from the litter. So you still need to discard both regardless. It’s still the same work. But you save about TEN SECONDS. Time that you could be using, with the Sock Buddy.

Number 5: The Lazy Glasses
Number 5: The Lazy Glasses

Holding up a book while in bed is dangerous, hardwork. You could get wrist cramps, blood clots, swine flu, elephant-itus and other incurable diseases too numerous to mention. But these glasses have been given tiny mirror windows, allowing you to rest your head back instead of raising your neck 2 inches or raising the book slightly upward in order to read it. But alternatively, you could just glue the book to the ceiling, use heavily magnifying reading glasses, and a long stick to turn the pages; But lets be honest, thats seems like an awful lot of trouble to not lift the thing in your hands a tad closer to your face.

Number 4: The toilet paper extender
Number 4: The toilet paper extender

Im going to start of by saying, if your toilet is so far from your toilet paper, that this extender is a necessity, your home is BAD. But the name is pretty self explanatory, it moves your toilet paper closer to you, you shouldn’t need it but someone felt it necessary to make it.

Number 3: The snowball Scooper
Number 3: The snowball Scooper

The perfect snowball making device. But if you went out and bought this contraption. Wouldn’t you ever think, that you bought it because your hands were insufficient? Human hands were incapable of balling frozen water? There’s only one real reason for buying this is pure laziness.

Number 2: The Portable microwave
Number 2: The Portable microwave

This invention with the hopes of creating a device that would allow the user to continue to watch TV AND cook a miniature frozen pizza. But the good news is, if you get a portable toilet, a portable water fountain, and portale common sense. Then you would be able to live the american dream of never having to go anywhere. Although if you had the common sense you would realize that all of that is pointless.

Number One: The electric Scissors
Number One: The electric Scissors

Do you ever use scissors, and get hand cramps, cronic nose bleeds, or the swine flu? Well with these, you get all of those, and an annoying noise because you do the same hand motions, with a heavier tool AND, it makes a ridiculous noise! So this is the best example, of a pointless tool for a lazy person.

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