February 21, 2024

What Happened to That Guy; or, a Joke About Journalistic Dis-Ingenuity

The Hero, or the member of the organization in this city

As it happens most days, time has once again passed. During a particular day, sometimes referred to as the 3rd from a specific month, probably known to many as December, many events occurred. Among the myriad happenings, at least one of these involved people. One such important person happened to be a member of this city’s very large organization that employs those perfect for fulfilling the duties of the department they are in. This organization, trusted by the good people of this city, is colloquially known as ‘The Police.’ It is known that this city may be called Wichita. This person, who need not be named, for obvious reasons, happened to be within city limits, at or around a large portion of the city. At a specific location, 4200 East Gilbert Street, Wichita, Kansas 67218 at 2:15 p.m., said person of the organization had been summoned to this address.

When this person approached this location, which is around 9 minutes away from the city center, they were able to convene with people potentially located there. It was clear these people were deeply troubled, as one had obtained a device this organization has classified as a firearm. Upon this meeting, something happened, that was probably deserved. The person at this location obviously attempted to utilize the device to hurt others. Clearly they were filled with malice for the world. Luckily, a series of events occurred such that this person was put into a state in which they could no longer harm others through their evil deeds. But who really cares about what happened to them?

The hero of this story is our wonderful representative from the organization. They showcased their amazing abilities and courageous aptitude by saving what would surely be hundreds of life from the villainous resident at this location. They are, of course, shaken by the event. Surely, the sympathy of the people of this city will pour onto this poor soul who had to go through such a journey to save us. It isn’t easy to trigger the events that lead to the disengagement of the resident!

Now, the county that this city resides in, commonly referred to as Sedgwick county, will handle the investigation into the various events that happened at or around the aforementioned location. However, I doubt there is very much that actually matters now that our hero is safe and at home, ready to face another day of grueling duty to protect us from people who have dangerous things in their homes.

Sources

This article is a parody of many others, but mainly focuses on this article published by K12 News.

While this article can be, hopefully, enjoyed by anyone, it should be mentioned it was intentionally authored for a project for an AP Government class.